


A King Is Never Late

by lightwoody



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: 2x19 is gonna ruin my life probably, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But they still love each other, Fix-It, Kissing, M/M, Post-Episode: s02e18 Awake Arise Or Be Forever Fallen, Sad Alec Lightwood, Sad Magnus Bane, malec are heartbroken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 02:29:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11727627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightwoody/pseuds/lightwoody
Summary: It's been five days since Magnus walked away from Alec. Neither of them are doing so great.





	A King Is Never Late

**Author's Note:**

> hello yes im sorry for the angst but after 2x18 ive been dying for six whole ass days and if i have to die, so do all of you <33333 much love !!!!!!

Alec rushed around the Institute, trying to control the damage that Sebastian had left in his wake. Everyone was terrified for themselves, their families, their friends. There was no telling who Sebastian would kill to find out more about the Mortal Instruments. He was still raising Hell, even though it had been five days since his attack on Max and the Shadowhunters that had been guarding the mirror.

Five days. Alec knew he was using Sebastian as an excuse to forget about Magnus and bury himself in his work, but he was always there, lingering in the back of Alec’s mind, torturing him constantly.

The first day was the worst.

_Over and over, the sight of Magnus walking away from him played in his head. Alec stared blankly at the wall in his office, unable to form a coherent thought that wasn’t about Magnus. There were piles of paperwork on his desk, and with Sebastian hiding away, no doubt planning an attack, Alec needed to be a leader more than he ever had before. So why did he feel so powerless? Why did he feel so…numb?_

_Alec had felt so alone for the majority of his life that he had almost grown accustomed to the idea that that’s what it would be like forever. Unable to ever be himself, having to be a warrior over being a brother, or a friend, or a lover. But Magnus…Magnus had forced his way into Alec’s heart, tearing down all of the walls Alec had built, leaving nothing but magic in his wake. Magnus had taught him to love and now he was gone and he was never coming back._

_Alec hadn’t even realized he had been holding his pen so tightly in his hand that it cracked, cutting his skin open, ink and blood mixing together and dripping down his wrist. He dropped the pen and stood up harshly, swiping a paper weight off his desk with such force that it flew into the wall and left a hole. He couldn’t help but laugh humorlessly at how much it reminded him of the hole that Magnus had punched straight through his heart._

_Alec’s entire body trembled, and every time he closed his eyes he saw Magnus’ face, his cat eyes sparkling with love and trust, his lips turned upward in a smile. And every time he opened his eyes he realized that Magnus would never look at him like that again. He backed up until he hit the wall behind him, sliding down and sitting, burying his face in his hands, his shoulders shaking with despair._

_Izzy had found him in that exact spot, some time later. Alec couldn’t have said how long he sat there with tears streaming down his face and neck, soaking the collar of his shirt. Izzy had consoled him, running her hands through his hair soothingly and letting him sob into her shoulder._

_“It hurts, Iz,” Alec choked, gripping her jacket like a lifeline._

_“I know, hermano, I know,” Izzy whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of his head._

_Some minutes or hours later, Alec finally cried himself to sleep in his sister’s arms, but even in sleep, Alec’s heart still ached.  
_

Four days later, Alec was just as miserable as he was the moment Magnus turned away from him and stepped into the elevator. Alec had called him countless times, leaving shaky messages, begging Magnus to just talk to him, but Alec would hang up immediately when he began to cry.

The nights were just as bad as the days, though. Alec would climb into his bed that wasn’t his bed anymore, reaching for a man that wasn’t even there. It took hours for him to fall asleep, but when he finally did, he woke up gasping with nightmares that left him in a cold sweat and with a face wet with tears. The nightmares were almost always about Magnus. Magnus leaving him, Magnus dying, Magnus hating Alec for being dishonest, Magnus never really loving him.

Sometimes, in moments of weakness, when he was unable to get back to sleep, Alec would grab his phone from his nightstand and open up his camera roll, which was full with only pictures of Magnus. He would stare at the gorgeous man who was in laughing at some dumb joke Alec had told only so he could see him smile. He would stare at the beautiful warlock, curled up next to him, immersed in a book he had finally found the time to read, his hand clasped lazily with Alec’s. He would stare at the angel asleep on top of gold silk sheets, looking more heavenly than any Shadowhunter that Alec had ever met. He would then cover his mouth with his hand in an attempt to hide his heartbroken sobs so that Izzy wouldn’t hear from next door.

Alec had been flying about the Institute for five days, finding any excuse he could to distract himself. He had just finished organizing search parties for Sebastian, and turned the corner to head to his office when he ran straight into Isabelle.

“Izzy, what-” Alec started, but Izzy stopped him.

“Luke is in the ops center,” she informed. She apparently saw the hesitant look on Alec’s face because she added, “He said it’s urgent.”

Alec nodded and scrubbed at his face with one hand. His head was throbbing and his eyes were burning with lack of sleep, but he had to keep going. He had to distract himself, immerse himself in an endless amount of work so Magnus could not enter his thoughts and shatter his heart completely.

Izzy sighed. “You can’t keep this up forever, big brother. You need to talk to him-”

“Izzy, don’t,” Alec said through his teeth. He could already feel his throat closing and he couldn’t stand it. “ _Please_.”

Izzy pursed her lips and nodded, motioning for Alec to go find Luke and see what he needed.

Alec avoided her eyes as he walked back through the door, knowing that he would only find pity in her gaze. He could just barely hold it together under normal circumstances, but whenever anyone asked if he was okay or looked at him sympathetically, he lost it. He felt like the walls around him were closing in and he couldn’t breathe and all he needed was Magnus, which is the one thing he couldn’t have.

He rushed to the ops center, curious over what Luke needed. Maybe he had some new information on Sebastian’s whereabouts, or maybe members of his pack were able to track Valentine.

What he wasn’t expecting, though, was for every member of the Downworld cabinet to be standing around the table in the ops center. Except for Magnus.

Alec stopped in his tracks, glancing between Luke, Meliorn, and Raphael confusedly. Luke’s arms were crossed, Raphael’s hands were clasped behind his back and Meliorn stood rigid, and soldier-like. Their faces were stoic, as if something terrible had happened.

Alec’s heart began to race. Why wasn’t Magnus here? Why was he the only member of the cabinet that wasn’t present? Why we’re the rest of them looking at him like that? Alec almost stumbled, his hands beginning to tremble violently, and oh, God, what if Magnus was hurt, what if he was dead, what if-

“Alec,” Luke said, interrupting Alec’s horrible thoughts. “Jonathan and Valentine are still in the city. We’ve found multiple members of the Downworld dead and drained of blood. We think Valentine may be experimenting again, maybe even on Jonathan.”

Alec tried to hide the immense relief he felt, hoping that his facial expression would pass as shock. He felt like he’d been walking along a ledge, forty feet high, and almost slipped. He could feel the pounding of his heart throughout his whole body, could hear the blood rushing in his head. If Alec’s last conversation with Magnus had been Magnus leaving him, Alec would have been ruined.

“H-how many?” Alec asked, clearing his throat and crossing his arms, glad for another meeting to occupy his time with.

“Eight as of now,” Luke informed. “Two from each group of Downworlders, including war-”

Luke’s voice was interrupted by the door to the ops center bursting open and hitting the wall behind it. A voice way too familiar to Alec followed, and everything else became white noise.

“Lucian, what on Earth could be so important to call me to the Institute of all places?” Magnus asked, striding inside, his focus remaining on Luke. “This matter better be of dire circumstances-”

Magnus had begun to survey the room when his eyes finally landed on Alec, who stood absolutely frozen, his mouth open in shock.

Seeing Magnus for the first time in five days felt like every bone in his body breaking all at once. All of the breath was knocked out of his chest, and he stumbled backwards, as if placing himself further away from Magnus would take the pain away.

Magnus stood very still, his mouth pressed in a hard line, his Adam’s apple bobbing and his eyes darting away from Alec quickly.

Luke and the others didn’t seem to notice the tension between Magnus and Alec, because they continued. “Magnus, fashionably late as always,” Luke chuckled. “We almost didn’t think you were gonna show up at all. You haven’t answered any of our calls or messages in the last, what? Five days?”

Magnus’ eyes widened for a split second before he stood straight, composing himself. Alec would have laughed at the exaggerated facade if he had not felt like he had just taken twenty kicks to the chest.

“A king is never late, Lucian, everyone else is simply early,” Magnus smiled, twirling his fingers in the air in front of him. The gesture was just so…. _Magnus_ that Alec’s breath hitched.

“The Princess Diaries,” Alec blurted, not even realizing he had said it until everyone turned to look at him. They all looked confused, except for Magnus whose mouth parted, the look in his eyes becoming sad.

“What was that, Mr. Lightwood?” Meliorn asked, a smirk playing on his lips as if he had figured out why the aura in the room had felt so negative. Alec wanted to yell and scream at him that none of this was funny, none of it was amusing, and Alec had never felt this type of pain in his life.

Alec looked around, stuttering. “That line- it was, um- from a-a movie.” The only reason Alec knew this is because he and Magnus had watched it together.

Alec suddenly realized that all eyes were on him, and his heart began to beat rapidly inside his chest, his blood roaring in his ears. The room suddenly felt like it was getting smaller, and all the oxygen had been sucked out with a vacuum, and everything became to much all at once.

“Excuse me for a minute,” Alec said as steadily as he could, before backing up towards the door, and practically running out of the room. He rushed around the corner and into an empty hallway, leaning against the wall and tugging at his hair. He tried swallowing past the lump in his throat but instead, tears welled up in his eyes and his vision was blurry as he tried to hold them back.

“Stop _crying_ , dammit!” He said through gritted teeth, thumping his head back against the wall. He stared up at the light fixture, hoping that focusing on something would stop him from crying. He dug his nails into the wooden wall, just needing to feel grounded. He

“You know, I’ve heard that staring into bright lights does terrible things to your eyes,” a quiet voice said from his left.

Alec’s head whipped to the side, and he almost choked on his own tears at the sight.

Magnus stood there, both hands fiddling with the rings on his fingers, a sad smile fixed on Alec. Alec didn’t think Magnus had ever looked so beautiful, but maybe that’s because he was no longer his to admire.

“Magnus,” Alec gasped, standing up straight and trying to compose himself, even though it was a useless effort. Magnus knew him too well.

“What happened back there?” Magnus asked, but his tone implied that he already knew the answer.

Alec stared at Magnus incredulously. Had he not felt as terrible as Alec had these past few days? Had he not felt completely empty of any emotion but despair? Had he not felt that millisecond of relief when he woke up in the morning, only for it to be crushed by the realization that there was no one there to wake up next to him?

Alec’s vision was so blurry that he could no longer make out the features of Magnus’ face. “I didn’t know that anything could hurt this much,” Alec whispered, leaning back and looking up at the ceiling and not blinking.

“ _Alexander_ ,” Magnus breathed and that was all it took.

Alec’s hand flew up to cover his mouth before a loud, ugly sob could escape. The tears he had tried to desperately to hold back were now falling freely down his face.

He felt a touch on his shoulder and his flinched away as if he had been hit. He wiped at his tears quickly, and took a few steps back. “I’m sorry Magnus, I _can’t_ ,” Alec said, his voice shaking. He wanted nothing more than to reach out, grab Magnus by his shoulder and pull him into his chest. It was the only thing he wanted, and the one thing he could not have.

Alec looked straight forward to see that Magnus’ face shone with tears as well and he could feel his heart breaking all over again. “Magnus,” Alec croaked. “Please don’t cry.”

Magnus let out a small laugh. “You started it.”

Alec’s chest hurt with the familiarity of it all. The joking around. The laughing and the crying and the complete, raw love.

They stood in a silence that was tearing Alec apart until Magnus spoke, looking down at his feet. “I turned down the Seelie Queen. I want change, not war.”

Alec dug his nails into his thighs, his emotions beginning to become too strong. The fact that Magnus hadn’t even acknowledged what had happened before he had stepped into the elevator was killing Alec. Was it because he didn’t care as much as Alec did? Was he not experiencing this all-encompassing pain that refused to go away? “That’s-that’s good,” Alec nodded, giving a half-hearted smile.

Magnus nodded back and pursed his lips, pulling at his sleeves. It was so unlike Magnus. To be awkward and silent and almost folded in on himself.

Alec couldn’t take it anymore.

“What are we doing, Magnus?” Alec asked, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. He was done pretending like this didn’t hurt. He was done pretending that he could live the rest of his life without Magnus in it. He was done pretending that he would ever find anyone else that he could even come close to loving as much as he loved Magnus.

Magnus looked at him, his lips barely parted. He hadn’t been expecting Alec to break so easily. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Alec,” he whispered and Alec would rather have had been branded with 10 scorching hot irons than hear Magnus call him Alec like that ever again. He wanted to listen to Magnus call him Alexander until his ears fell off; he could listen to it for the rest of his life.

“You know exactly what I mean,” Alec whispered harshly. “I-I miss you like crazy. I think about you constantly. Waking up without you is the worst feeling I’ve ever felt in my entire life, Magnus, and I can’t take it anymore. I can’t live without you.”

Magnus only stared, and seemed to be for once, at a loss for words.

Alec stepped towards Magnus and when Magnus didn’t step back he kept going. He brought a hand up to Magnus’ face, just like Magnus had done to him only five days ago. His thumb brushed at the tears sticking to his cheeks.

Magnus’ jaw clenched and his mouth twisted, and Alec could tell he was trying so hard not to succumb to his emotions. To hold them back like he had done for so long.

It was when Alec used his other hand to hold the other side of Magnus’ face and leaned forward to press small kisses to Magnus’ tears that Magnus finally caved.

He lunged forward, his hands twisting into Alec’s shirtsleeves as tight as he possibly could, and pressed his forehead against Alec’s. “I thought what I did would help my people but it won’t, Alexander, God it _won’t_. Any situation where we aren’t on the same side couldn’t possibly be good for anyone. I want to stand next to you, and fight with you by my side, if you’ll still have me.”

Alec was dizzy with sensation. Magnus being this close to him after so long, the scent of his perfume clouding around them, the feeling of his soft breaths against Alec’s lips, the love in his confession. Alec made a noise in the back of his throat, having thought he was never going to have this again. Being wrong had never felt so good.

“I will have you, I will, always,” Alec choked, nodding and smiling, his thumbs grazing Magnus’ cheekbones. He closed his eyes, wanting to savor this moment for the rest of his life.

“I love you, Alexander, so, so much,” Magnus breathed, before leaning forward and pressing his lips to Alec’s.

All of the breath wooshed out of Alec’s chest, and he kissed Magnus back desperately, as if he were the only air left in the universe.

Magnus tugged on Alec’s shirt, trying to pull him closer, even though they were as close as they could get.

Alec had never been so happy in all his years. “I love you,” Alec moaned between kisses. “By the Angel, I love you. Don’t ever leave me again.”

“Never, never,” Magnus muttered, kissing the corner of Alec’s mouth, and across his cheeks, finally leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Alec’s shoulders tightly. The feeling of Magnus’ arms surrounding him was grounding, after days of wandering around aimlessly. It was like trekking the Sahara Desert and finally being offered a sip of water. It was anything and everything Alec ever needed.

Alec buried his face into the crook of Magnus’ neck, letting the smell of sugar and magic overwhelm his senses gladly. His heart thudded in his chest, but this time, instead of heartache, it beat with love.

“I’m also never letting you go,” Magnus mumbled into Alec’s shoulder, nuzzling his face further into Alec’s t-shirt.

And as for Alec?

He was fine with that.

**Author's Note:**

> if u want to yell at me for this you can find me on tumblr @ lightwoody !!!!!!!!


End file.
